But hey, seeing that we've been perfecting the art of matchingpeople up online all eight of those years, we'd like to share a littleof what we've learned about how to make the best of your onlineexperience. Who knows, one of these pointers might be just what you'vebeen missing in perfecting your own online dating adventures.
Therefore, without further ramblings, here are the:
TOP 10 TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL ONLINE DATING
SAY CHEESE! Look your best andsubmit a great photo of yourself for your profile photo. A good picturereally is worth a thousand words, and research shows that you arenearly 10 times more likely to be noticed if you post a photo to yourprofile.
And, the same stats hold true when you contact someone you'venoticed on the site. If you don't have a photo, don't be surprised ifthe responses aren't too quick in coming back.
Now, don't get mad a start making accusations about all the shallowpeople out there. While it may be true that some people place too muchemphasis on physical appearances, the bottom line is it does make adifference when two people are meeting and making initial evaluationsof their interest in each other. And, it's also a trust thing. It isalways going to be much easier to interact with a face than with ablank box.
FRESH IS GOOD Change yourprofile picture and greeting occasionally, add photos to your photoalbum, and login regularly-this will not only get you noticed, but itwill help others get a more varied and up-to-date idea of whatconstitutes the real you.
When something interesting happens in your life, tell us about itin your profile greeting. This is a great way to let your onlinefriends in on what it might be like to actually spend time with you.That's the main goal of online dating isn't it, to find people you'dfinally like to meet and spend time with face-to-face? Anyways, it'salways more fun to hear about a crazy experience you've just had thanto read the same old descriptions of you and your cat that have been onyour profile for months now.
As for photo albums, this is the icing on the cake. Not only dothese photos round out and confirm the physical picture your friendsare forming of you, but they also go a long way in helping othersreally see what makes you "you." The head and shoulders shot of you inyour profile photo is nice and all, but when they see you hanging 10,running with your Chihuahua, or shoving a big fat piece of cheesecakein your mouth ? now they're getting to know you.
I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME Havefun describing yourself without making excuses about why you're on thesite or who convinced you to finally go online. Tell us what makes youunique.
Believe it or not, being an online dater no longer places you onthe fringes of society or even in the minority. Online dating has grownup and moved into the mainstream, and so you can now happily assumethat the face-saving qualifiers of past times online are now obsolete.And, more importantly, just realize that they don't help your causewhen meeting others online.
One more thing ? try to be original. Yes, I'm sure you really dolike the outdoors and want to meet someone who looks good in a tux andin jeans, but so does everyone else! Tell us some things about yourselfthat wouldn't necessarily come out in an elevator conversation withyour tax accountant. For example, what are you passionate about? Whatwould you do if no longer had to work for a living? What's yourfavorite flavor of gelato? Do you secretly wish everyday was samplingday at the grocery store? ? now it' getting interesting!
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICYDon't be fooled thinking telling fibs will impress that special someoneenough to get relationship started... it will turn them off! Be yourbest self.
When you really stop and think about it, what do you think your newfriend's reaction is going to be if when you meet for the first timeit's obvious you're not the person they thought they were going to bemeeting? "Oh .. hi. I see that you've been dishonest with me from theget-go here, but hey, I'm still thinking we've got a great shot athaving an open, trusting relationship for the long-term" Obviously not.
They're going to be hurt, and disappointed. And, your relationshipis unlikely to get past the wave goodbye as your friend gets back intheir car to go home.
IT'S NICE TO BE NICE Okay, soyou get a little grouchy once in a while-don't we all? However, peoplelike nice people. Please be considerate and polite ? it will make thiswhole online thing so much more enjoyable for all of us!
There's an interesting social phenomenon researchers havediscovered in online interactions. They've found people often changetheir standards of politeness and diplomacy when a conversation ishappening online, versus face-to-face.
Don't believe it? You might be surprised if you were to go back andlook at some of the things you've said. Look at some messages you'vesent, and then consider saying the exact same words in a face-to-faceor a telephone conversation. Sound a little rough? Don't feel too bad,it happens to the best of us, just try to keep this in mind the nexttime you're typing out an email or instant message.
One more thing-please don't ignore people. A quick "thanks, but nothanks" note is so much better than no reply at all. In fact, next timeyou're replying to a message on the site, check out the new "Thanks butNo Thanks" template. It's a quick way to nicely let someone know you'renot interested in corresponding.
YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS?Invite your friends along! Create Activity Groups, go on group dates,try Express Dating, enjoy travel events, and just enjoy the nettogether. After all, instant messaging alone isn't enough to buildsolid relationships.
Group dating and group events simply make a lot of sense for onlinedating. Not only does it make those first dates less stressful, itoften makes them more fun, and it definitely makes first meetings amuch safer proposition.
Have you ever tried Activity Groups? They're a great way to meetpeople with common interests in a safe, fun group setting. You can joina group that's already been created, or you can create your own andinvite all your friends to join ? and their friends ? and their friends? you get the point.
BREAK OUTA THAT SHELL Don't beafraid to make the first contact. Online dating makes it easy for allyou shy ones out there to break the ice, because you get to do all theinitial getting to know each other from the comfort and safety of yourown computer.
To start, just send a Flirt or a quick email message saying Hi-anddo it often! You might be surprised how many of our great memberssuffer from lack of attention from their online peers. Not only mightyou find someone with whom you're very interested in maintainingcontact, but you'll probably be making someone's day.
EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS If yourfirst internet efforts haven't turned up "the perfect one," don'tdespair. Hundreds of new people sign up every day on the site, so justcome back to see Who's New. You may also want to consider expandingyour searches-don't be too intent on sticking to your itemizedchecklist for eternal mates.
You might also want to try some different searches from time totime. Because there are about a million different things you might findattractive in another person, it's nice to mix up the criteria you'researching on once in a while. For example, you can search by theirOccupation, any Keyword or combination of keywords you can think of,and many others.
UH OH ? THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUN!Don't be afraid to have some fun along your path to relationshiphappiness! Enjoy getting to know people and understand that many happyrelationships and even marriages start with a good ol' friendship. And,don't rush it!
You've heard animals can sense fear? Well, we humans can be prettyperceptive as well (except for that one guy who just can't take ahint). So, don't think others can't sense when you're frustrated,dejected, conceited, holier than thou, fed up, etc. etc. Put a smileon, and enjoy the ride, because even if the first few people you meetaren't Mr./Mrs. Right, it doesn't mean you can't have some fun in goodconversations with them.
You may also need to be a little bit patient as you head off intothe brave new world of online dating. Not all marriages are "love atfirst site," and even if yours is, it may take a lot of looking beforeyou "site" that special someone. And so, once again ? enjoy the ride!
USE YOUR NOODLE Ya know, thatgray matter between your ears? That's your noodle. Use it! Be smart, becautious, and follow our safety guidelines, your instincts, and thespirit in all your dating activity.
Done right, online dating is a lot of fun, and it's a great way tomeet some wonderful people ? just ask the thousand-plus people we'vehad submit success stories to us in the past few years! So, enjoy it,and follow these ten tips, and hopefully we'll be getting a successstory from you sometime soon.