Thoughts to think about

[ar]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.




***********



Gardening Rule:




When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.




If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.




***********







The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.




***********



Never take life seriously.




Nobody gets out alive anyway.




***********




There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.




***********




Life is sexually transmitted.




***********




An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.




***********




If quitters never win, and winners never quit,




Then who is the fool who said : "Quit while you're ahead?"




***********




The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.




***********




Always get the last word in: Apologize.




***********




Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day;



Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.




***********




Some people are like Slinkies . .



Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.




***********




Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.




***********




Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?




***********




Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.




***********




How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?




***********




All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.




***********




Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.