Some Santa Jokes

[genial.soul]

Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."

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Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

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Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

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Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

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Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

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Banta ek sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

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Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

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Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

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Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

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A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...

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Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

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Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

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Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call

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Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

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Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

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Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

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What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi

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Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

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Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

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Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!

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Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"