Interesting Joks!!!

[zaidi110]

Doctor: Kya taklif hai? Petient: Sote waqt SAAS ko lene me taqlif hoti hai. Doc:
Aaj se dus din sote vaqt SAAS ko nahi SAALI ko lo !
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Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
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PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu
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MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha
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MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
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One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
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A couple wanted khatna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS
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Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving, Husband: please slow down the speed of car. Wife: No ;please. No; please No please No pls.. Husband: the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of exident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...
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MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha
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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long
In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n [email protected], it's loss or profit? student: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
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A MAN: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. MAN: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all Radio PAKISTAN!
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Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U! Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.
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An old rich man marries a young girl. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
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Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
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AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other
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Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy
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Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing
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Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.
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My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
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Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?
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what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............
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Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice"
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Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye
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Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there
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A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi".
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Musharraf said to his mother. Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro
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75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.
Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo
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A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????
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Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes
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A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."
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in chemistry class teacher asked a girl:what r Nitrates?Girl answered shyly:nights rates r high then day ..!
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Judge-y did u attack tat young man?
Old lady- he grabbed me, took my clothes off, threw me on d bed & shouted APRIL FOOL!
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Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & ofcourse fucKING
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Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain
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1986 ke girl; Mama jeans pehen lon
Mom;Na baiti log kiya kahen gay.
2006 ke girl;Mama mini skirt pehen lon
Mom; pehen baiti kuch to pehen.............
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How Do U Tell To UR Girlfriend If U Want 2 go 2 Toilet During Dinner? Darling,I've 2 Shake Hands with a Close friend of MIne Whom I'm Going 2 introduce 2 u Later
Santa: What is the weather like ? Banta: I do not know it is so foggy that i cannot see.
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Boy: Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from? Father: Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother Because i still have mine.
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Q: Know what the difference between in laws and outlaws is ? Ans: Outlaws are wanted!
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Ques: What did the valentine card say to the stamp ? Ans: Stick with me and we will go to lots of places!
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Company offered Rs.500 for each money saving idea submitted by its employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to Rs.250.
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Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Santa: That is great, I will take two of them.
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Ques: What did the gangsters son tell his dad when he failed his examination ? Ans: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but i never told them anything.
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Doc: Your fee is more then we get paid for medical care. Mechanic : You always have the same model but we have to keep up to date with new models every year.
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Ques: Did you hear about the blonde who was tap dancing? Ans: She broke her ankle when he fell into the sink.
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Mom: Where are you off to now? Son: I am gonna join the army. Mom: But legally you are only an infant. Son: That is all right, I am going to Join the Infantry.
Boss: I will give you 3000 Per month and in three months, I will raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start? Santa: In three months.
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A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. Anything new at work? He replied, No, I am teaching History.
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Sales Girl: sorry sir you cann't smoke here.
Customer: but i bought cigarate from this shop.
Sales Girl: we sell condom also but it dosn't mean you start fucking here.
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Teacher: 3 girls are walking in the road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory.
student: WOW!
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Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?"
Student:"Brotherly love
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PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot
Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...
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A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy says thanks for the warning!
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World's Smallest resignation letter?
Respected sir,
I luv ur wife
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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet!
Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.