Funny Gender Designations in English

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Funny Gender Designations in English: Many Romance Languages (Italian, Spanish, French) give even inanimate objects a gender. In Spanish, for example, this determines whether you use el or la in front of the noun. If English designated things as either male or female, here are a few of recommendations.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female! Consider this: It gives a man pleasure. He'd be lost without it. And while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

ZIP LOCK BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.