Top 10 Global Events In The Whole World-Rockin
It’s just a coincidence that these two recent entries had something to do with politics and I just want to share them with you.1. Britney is back. (September 26, 2008)
Britney released her new single on my birthday; I am so ‘flattered’. Aside from that, on the fifteenth of October her single became number one in the Billboard Hot 100. With that, I am sure a certain Youtube star is in a state of euphoria. Anyway, with the return of Britney, let’s hope she will usher back the peaceful and pop-obsessed ways of the late nineties, a time wherein boy bands and teeny boppers ruled the universe and the Philippines was unknowingly cast in a supporting role in a movie spearheaded by the director, screenwriter, and lead actor: Joseph Estrada.
2. Global Financial Crisis. (September 2008)
This could possibly be my most favorite– American financial institutions falling on their knees because of their haphazard, overconfident and greedy ways. For a postcolonial anti-imperialist, this is cosmic karma maintaining balance in the universe. Unfortunately, everyone’s scurrying to give money to these mismanaged financial entities. I should take heed, and do the same: declare bankruptcy. Where’s the money? Where’s the American taxpayer’s money?
3. Beijing hosts the Summer Olympics. (August 8-25, 2008)
China has been rocked with a lot of controversies; beginning with Tibet, human rights violations, poor product quality control. Not only that; with the recent natural calamities creating havoc and suffering in China, it is only morally right to give our Chinese brothers and sisters a break. The Olympics was their moment to shine and it was certainly a moment worth remembering. I am curious though; did the Philippines send a contingent?
4. Fidel Castro resigns. (February 19, 2008)
The trouble with a dictatorship is that it will only last as long the life of the dictator. Thus for those future dictators, here is a checklist that will help you in your quest:
* Take care of your health
* Always make sure relatives are near, you may need an organ donor in the very near future
* Invest half of the state budget on the search for the fountain of youth or research to extend you life to 500 years.
5. Benazir Bhutto assassinated. (December 27, 2007)
When I was in high school, we used to make jokes about her surname (Editor’s note: The sound ‘Bhutto’ in our local language pertains to a certain female organ). Our history teacher had a very hard accent so every time he mentions her full name, we couldn’t help but giggle. Now with her untimely death, it doesn’t seem funny anymore.
6. The Writers Guild of America goes on strike. (November 5, 2007)
No, we’re not talking about the Justice League of America aka Super Friends; we’re talking about a group of people hired by giant TV networks to write the most appealing superficial lines and the most unrealistic and escapist plots yet at the same time ironically relatable for their shows. Unfortunately, they will never star in their own creations. In fact, they will never be given due credit for their talented work. If by now, you still do not know what I am talking about, then, I suggest you need a self-lobotomy, I am talking about writers: people who are not that attractive but are creative enough to work in television. However, their recent strike has greatly affected the business of TV. Some shows did not even survive. As a result, they have proven to the world their worth: behind the success of a good looking actor is an ugly writer. Ugly people rule!
7. Apple’s new iPhone is released in the US. (June 29, 2008)
With the iPhone, there is now a need for more ‘touch’ technology. Imagine a world of touch doors, touch cars, touch window, everything operated by touch…the next level will be ‘thought’ technology. Envision technology operated by just thinking…which will make the movie “Wall-E†seem prophetic.
8. Tony Blair resigns. (June 27, 2008)
Yes, I know this one is another shocker. Tony Blair has been the leader of the British Empire ever since he succeeded Queen Elizabeth I. And who replaced him? A bloke named Gordon Brown. Down goes the parliament….
9. Microsoft releases Windows Vista and Office 2007. (January 30, 2007)
With the latest season of Heroes wherein Sylar looks like the good guy and Peter is becoming more like a villain, I look at the Millennium bug and I see it now as a failed attempt to save us from such horrible future software.
10. Ban Ki-moon becomes the new UN Secretary-General (January 1, 2007)
Yes, Kofi Annan is no longer the Secretary-General, and yes, the United Nations still exists. Unfortunately, with the current lackluster state of the international agency, I doubt that a Korean named Ban Ki-moon would be able to produce the necessary puzzaz to make the UN once again a household name. That’s why I am putting him in the tenth slot…as a reminder.
