FUNNY QUOTES

[awais]

[size=161. "When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."
Carrot Top.

2. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
Dave Barry.

3. "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Mitch Hedberg.

4. "My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father."
Wendy Leibman.

5. "If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"
Steven Wright.

6. "Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines."
Joan Rivers.

7. "Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he spent two weeks at a nudist colony."
Johnny Carson.

8. "He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news."
Bertolt Brecht.

9. "At school we had a name for guys who were 'trying to get in touch with themselves'."
PJ O'Rourke.

10. "Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt."
Mark Twain. [/size]

[Pearl]

nice post