Sarcastic Quotes ( Amazing Quotes )

[postman]

* "If winners never quit and quitters never win then who came up
with the saying 'quit while you're ahead'?"

* If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope he
likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting.

* Whats this bout rowing gently down the stream? What do you think
us rowers are? Pansies? HELL NO! Catch us if you can!

* A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be in
the next cell saying "that was f#cking awesome "

* What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

* "Boys are like roses, watch out for the pricks...

* Stoners live and stoners die, and at the end they all get high, then
soon the don't succeed, FUCK IT ALL LETS SMOKE SOME WEED!

* Fighting for peace is like f***in for virginity

* It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle
finger and tell you to bite me.

* I wasn't kissing him, I was just telling his lips a secret!

* Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

* God created men first, cause you always makes a rough draft before
a masterpiece!

* Heaven won't have me and hells afraid I'll take over!

* Guys are like slinkies its always fun to watch them fall down the stairs

* A wise monkey never monkies w/ another monkey's monkey!

* Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege

* One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got
lost, and is 2 stubborn to ask for directions

* Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where
the heck is my ceiling!

* Did you fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down!

* They say true love hides behind every Corner...I must be walking
in Circles!

* I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo
up straight!

* 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep