Humor, Jokes, Riddles

Casual day :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:45:59 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Casual day
Posted: Nov 19, 2009 (GMT 0)

A Company decides to adopt Fridays as Casual Day
and they issued a Memo to all department intimating
the same.

Week 1

Memo 1: Effective this week, the company is adopting
Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in
the casual attire of their choice.

Week 3

Memo 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts
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Wealthy as we grow old :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:41:13 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Wealthy as we grow old
Posted: Nov 19, 2009 (GMT 0)

Silver on the Hair

Gold on the Teeth

Stones in the Kidneys

Sugar in the Blood

Lead on the Feet

Iron in the Arteries

And an inexhaustible

supply of Natural Gas..

We never thought
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1 Kiss for 1 Rupee :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:09:28 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: 1 Kiss for 1 Rupee
Posted: Nov 19, 2009 (GMT 0)

Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon.
Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.

Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hai.
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Santa the great :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:08:34 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Santa the great
Posted: Nov 19, 2009 (GMT 0)

Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai,
uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.

Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
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Urgent request :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:00:20 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Urgent request
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

URGENT CALL!

Whoever forgot his wife at my place

after last night's party, is asked to come and get her ASAP.

It is not that she embarrasses me,

but mine is coming back tonight
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How time flies (Joke of the Year) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:03:42 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: How time flies (Joke of the Year)
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

How time flies.....

Seems like only yesterday

She was crawling on her hands & Knees

putting things in her mouth....
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Monicka Lewinsky
turns 44 this week.....
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defective Parrot :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:53:54 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: defective Parrot
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the
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Wife & Husband Quarrel :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:46:23 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Wife & Husband Quarrel
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice
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A lovely push :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:44:42 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: A lovely push
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

Wife: What will you give me if I
climb the great Mount Everest?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!!
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Pills for ??? :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:43:31 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Pills for ???
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace.
Here are some sleeping

Pills.

Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you
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Wife & News paper :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 06:42:23 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Wife & News paper
Posted: Nov 18, 2009 (GMT 0)

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday
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Last Moments (comix) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:16:14 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Last Moments (comix)
Posted: Nov 17, 2009 (GMT 0)

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Good Ambition :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:17:46 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Good Ambition
Posted: Nov 16, 2009 (GMT 0)

Teacher: What do you want to become?

Little Johnny: Doctor !!

Teacher: Why?

Little Johnny: Because its the only profession
where u can tell a woman .

to take off her clothes and ask her husband
to pay for it.
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A memo from Child to Parent :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:37:03 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: A memo from Child to Parent
Posted: Nov 15, 2009 (GMT 0)

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Typical Human Thinking :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:42:49 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Typical Human Thinking
Posted: Nov 15, 2009 (GMT 0)

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What makes Man HAPPY :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:42:16 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: What makes Man HAPPY
Posted: Nov 08, 2009 (GMT 0)

What makes a happy man?

Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.

Son on the cover of Sports Illustrated..

Mistress on the cover of Playboy

and .. Wife on the cover of 'Missing Persons'
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Ladies shopping :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:31:28 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Ladies shopping
Posted: Nov 08, 2009 (GMT 0)

Lady � shoes dikhaiye.

Shopkeeper :- kitne number ka ?

Lady � 36 (A) no.

Shopkeeper :- jaao madam jaao, time pass mat karo.
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Pakistan Zindabad :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:20:25 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Pakistan Zindabad
Posted: Nov 08, 2009 (GMT 0)

In view of the current situation

" Pakistan Zindabad "

slogan has been changed to

" Pakistan se Zinda Bhaag
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Telling a lie :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 05:03:54 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Telling a lie
Posted: Nov 08, 2009 (GMT 0)

Telling a lie is a
fault for a little boy,
an art for a lover,
an accomplishment for a bachelor and
a Matter of Survival for a married man.
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Ghajini Views by children :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:25:28 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Ghajini Views by children
Posted: Nov 06, 2009 (GMT 0)

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Girlfriend then Wife :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:23:16 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Girlfriend then Wife
Posted: Nov 06, 2009 (GMT 0)

How does a Girlfriend looks when
you marry her.

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First Kiss :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:49:23 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: First Kiss
Posted: Nov 04, 2009 (GMT 0)

First Kiss

So, it's your first kiss and several questions
might come to mind :

Is it the right time?

Is anyone watching?

Does your partner even want to?

Is your breath fresh?

And ... Should you use some tongue?

Then you lean in and just go for it!!!

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Confession :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:34:52 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Confession
Posted: Nov 03, 2009 (GMT 0)

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

Ihave been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin
her reputation'.

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner
or later so you may as

well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I
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drunkard :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:41:16 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: drunkard
Posted: Nov 01, 2009 (GMT 0)

Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?

Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking..

Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite ??

Man: My wife...
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New Math: Funny Equations of Life :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

vicked.vicky — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:06:47 GMT

Author: vicked.vicky
Subject: New Math: Funny Equations of Life
Posted: Oct 31, 2009 (GMT 0)

New Math: Funny Equations of Life

New Math tells how to delineate or define emotions, activities, or just everyday stuff in an amusing and new way, New Math is a little bit of acumen and a lot of hilarity that adds up to a must-read. In New Math, Craig Damrauer offers a unique and humorous take on life though arithmetic equations.
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English Language ( MUST READ N FORWARD ) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

awais — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:13:50 GMT

Author: awais
Subject: English Language ( MUST READ N FORWARD )
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a
driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are people
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Heriditary ( FUNNY HUMORS ) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

awais — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:10:26 GMT

Author: awais
Subject: Heriditary ( FUNNY HUMORS )
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During
the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them
possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.

"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.

"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.

"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your
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Job Titles ( FUNNY HUMORS ) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

awais — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:09:18 GMT

Author: awais
Subject: Job Titles ( FUNNY HUMORS )
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

In line with our constitution and to eliminate discrimination in our society,
the following titles will now be used for these jobs:

*******

Garden Boy - Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist

*******

House Maid - Family Environs Upkeep Manager

*******

Typist - Printed Document Handler

*******

Messenger - Business Communications Conveyer

*******

Window
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5 rules of girls :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:00:28 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: 5 rules of girls
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

Five rules of girls

1: Love me but don�t touch me

2: Touch me but don�t kiss me

3: Kiss me but don�t use me

4: Use me but don�t forget me

5: Forget me but don�t tell to anyone
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Beautiful girls don't like to study :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:24:21 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Beautiful girls don't like to study
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

Beautiful girls don't like to study

why ?????

Because they know ki duniya ke kisi kone me koi na
koi Gadha un ke liye
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Are u a responsible man :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:20:52 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Are u a responsible man
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband.

Man replies: Dat's me, whenever anyone is pregnant in my

neighborhood, they say I m responsible!
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Cool Santa :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:50:55 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Cool Santa
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?

Banta : I give up.

Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
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Guts & Balls :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:44:18 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Guts & Balls
Posted: Oct 30, 2009 (GMT 0)

We've all heard about people having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for
each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the
guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having
the guts to ask: "Are
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Honest HR Question - Answers ( MUST READ N FORWARD ) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

awais — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:59:24 GMT

Author: awais
Subject: Honest HR Question - Answers ( MUST READ N FORWARD )
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 (GMT 0)

Job Interview - Honest HR Question-Answers

If we were to Honestly reply to all the HR Questions they would go
something like this

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have
any specific company
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North Indian Wife Vs South Indian Wife ( FUNNY HUMOR ) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

awais — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:54:44 GMT

Author: awais
Subject: North Indian Wife Vs South Indian Wife ( FUNNY HUMOR )
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 (GMT 0)

*** WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE ***

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than
her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after
marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are
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Sunday school ( FUNNY JOKE ) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

awais — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:51:25 GMT

Author: awais
Subject: Sunday school ( FUNNY JOKE )
Posted: Oct 29, 2009 (GMT 0)

Sunday school ( FUNNY JOKE )

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept
through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was
napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair
behind
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Family Picture :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:12:43 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Family Picture
Posted: Oct 28, 2009 (GMT 0)

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by mistake :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 09:09:19 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: by mistake
Posted: Oct 27, 2009 (GMT 0)

An employee walks into the Accounts office
and says "What is the meaning of this.
I have been paid $200 less than what
was decided upon."

The Accountant replies "I know about it, but
you did not complain when we paid $200 extra
by mistake last month."

The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with
occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit
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Brave Men :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:34:49 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Brave Men
Posted: Oct 25, 2009 (GMT 0)

There are many brave men

who are adventurous and are never afraid to fight..

Some join Pakistan army,

others get married ... ;-
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A girl can change your aim! (with hot Picture) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:31:03 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: A girl can change your aim! (with hot Picture)
Posted: Oct 25, 2009 (GMT 0)

A man was lost alone on an island.

One day he decide to build a wooden boat.

Suddenly a girl comes and

man used the wood for making bed.

Moral: A girl can change your aim!

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Mom: Why R U pregnant? :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:26:20 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Mom: Why R U pregnant?
Posted: Oct 25, 2009 (GMT 0)

Mom: Why R U pregnant?

Daughter: This is our project in college about "Miracle of Life"

Mom: Tell me who is he?

Daughter:I dont know, it was a group project
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3 kick rule :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:42:21 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: 3 kick rule
Posted: Oct 25, 2009 (GMT 0)

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra .
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell int o a farmer's
field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The
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Who is the best ??? :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:37:19 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Who is the best ???
Posted: Oct 22, 2009 (GMT 0)

He+She = Love

He+She+Love = Marriage

He+She+Love+ Marriage = Child

He+She+Love+ Marriage+ Child = Family

He+She+Love+ Marriage+ Child+Family = Problem

So

East Aur West

"Kunwara" is the Best.....
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The perfect hubby :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:10:27 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: The perfect hubby
Posted: Oct 22, 2009 (GMT 0)

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.

A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages
the hands free

speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this
beautiful
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Thank God Colombus was "UN-MARRIED" (tooo goood) :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:00:50 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Thank God Colombus was "UN-MARRIED" (tooo goood)
Posted: Oct 22, 2009 (GMT 0)

If Columbus had been married he might
never have discovered America because
of the following:

* Where are you going?

* With whom?

* Why?

* How are you going?

* To discover what?

* Why you?

* What do I do, when you are not here?

* Can I come with you ?

* Coming back when?

* Dinner ghar
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Biwi ek khatarnak prani hai :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:51:00 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Biwi ek khatarnak prani hai
Posted: Oct 22, 2009 (GMT 0)

Biwi ek khatarnak prani hai

ye ghar k rasoi me pai jati hai....

Iska poustik Ahaar pati ka BHEJAA hota hai..

Aur Karva Chouth wale din

ye badi matraa me dhong karte dikhai dee jaati hai...

Shurwat me ye prani bada acha aur mitha lagta hai...

Baad me ye Jungli Saand ki Tarah ho jati hai...

Inke ma baap galti karte hai

aur bhugatna inke pati ko padta hai...
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what a child :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:47:08 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: what a child
Posted: Oct 22, 2009 (GMT 0)

Wife: Thora aram se karo Express chala rahe ho.

Husband: To kiya Mallgari chalaon?

Itne main munna bed se gir jata hai aur bolta hai.

Jo marzi chalao par musafir to na girao
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Best seller book :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 09:31:28 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Best seller book
Posted: Oct 20, 2009 (GMT 0)

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?

Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .

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Pathan Weeping :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 09:18:04 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Pathan Weeping
Posted: Oct 20, 2009 (GMT 0)

Pathan was Weeping:

Man: Kyon Ro rahe ho?

Pathan: Meri Murghi Mar gai.

Man: Mera Baap Mar Gaya Magar main to Nahi Roya.

Pathan: Oye Tera Baap kya Anday Deta tha.
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Car names :: Humor, Jokes, Riddles

lovedesire — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:56:24 GMT

Author: lovedesire
Subject: Car names
Posted: Oct 20, 2009 (GMT 0)

BMW Brings Me Women

FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

FORD For Only Rough Drivers

HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And
Inexpensive....

VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

PORSCHE Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

KIA Kills In Accidents

OPEL
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