INTERESTING DEFINITIONS

[moonjee06]

INTERESTING DEFINITIONS





School:



A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.




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Life Insurance:



A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.




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Nurse:



A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.




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Love Affairs:



Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.




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Marriage:



It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.




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Divorce:



Future tense of Marriage.




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Tears:



The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.




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Lecture:



An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"




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Conference:



The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.




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Compromise:



The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.




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Dictionary:



A place where success comes before work.




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Conference Room:



A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.




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Classic:



Books, which people praise, but do not read.




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Smile:



A curve that can set a lot of things straight.




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Office:



A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.




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Yawn:



The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.




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Etc.:



A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.




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Committee:



Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.




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Experience:



The name men give to their mistakes.




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Atom Bomb:



An invention to end all inventions.




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Philosopher:



A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.




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Diplomat:



A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.




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Opportunist:



A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.




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Optimist:



A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."




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Miser:



A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.




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Father:



A banker provided by nature.




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Criminal:



A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.




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Boss:



Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.




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Politician:



One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.




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Doctor:



A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.







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