22 Things We’ll Teach Our Sons About Women And Relationships

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22 Things We’ll Teach Our Sons About Women And Relationships

We’re not mothers yet, but we’re at a point in our lives when we’re thinking about our future families. We know an awful lot about women and how to treat and please ‘em, so we plan to pass that knowledge down to our sons. We hope to rid the male sex of all the things that make us rant by raising boys with balanced male and female perspectives. Check out the list after the jump, then leave your lessons in the comments.

What Our Sons Should Know About Women

Pick your battles.

Going down is more intimate than sex, but it shouldn’t be scary.

Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion.

Saying “You’re being crazy” is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you.

Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.

Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for when she’s on the rag.

Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn’t embarrass you—everyone knows they’re not for you.

Women like compliments and gifts.

Earning less than her shouldn’t be emasculating.

Your legs really don’t need to be open that wide.

Be on time, even if she usually isn’t.

Don’t be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.

She should never be able to control you with sex.

Find out what her favorite flower is.

If you like her, then don’t buy her shoes; it’s bad luck.

Smiling and nodding aren’t the same as listening.

Skid marks aren’t sexy or hygienic.

It’s OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum.
Personality goes a long way.

At some point she’ll be more important than your mother.

You will never completely understand women.

Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby!